Getting Gone by Kevin Tumlinson

Author:Kevin Tumlinson
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Happy Pants Books

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People don't think about the fact that chairs are not indestructible.

Actually, it takes hardly any force to break a chair arm at its weakest point, which is usually where it attaches to the seat back. That's because all the reinforcement and structure of the chair is meant to keep things vertical and off the floor. That's the way it's designed. And that's why all it takes, most of the time, is to brace yourself and push hard horizontally against the arm at the front-most tip of the armrest with all your weight and force. It usually only takes a second before the nails or staples or screws or the dovetail joints give up and break away. Then you can slide a handcuff up and over the broken end and stand up with no trouble.

A few seconds later you can shove all of your stuff back into your backpack and pull the straps over your shoulder.

A few seconds after that you can walk to the back of the manager's office, find the space between two wall studs where there's a gap in the sheetrock, and then jam your knee into that spot to form a hole, which you can tear open wider with your hands and expose the sheetrock on the other side of the wall. You can then kick a foot through that sheetrock, which buckles a lot easier because the supporting two-by-four wall studs are on your side, so the pressure of your foot isn't being distributed along the studs in the wall, and the sheetrock gives way without much effort.

And then you're in the hallway that runs behind the manager's office and to the restrooms and a door that says "Employees Only." When you go through that door, you can make your way to the fenced-in area where people are getting on buses. Since you don't have a bus ticket, at this point you have to get on the other side of a bus that's slowly pulling out, then jog along beside it until you're out on the street and blending in with the crowds on the sidewalk. And then you pull your hood up over your head, put on your sunglasses, and walk at a normal pace.

And that's how you break the arm of an office chair.

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